Nicholas a. Milillo (born Nicholas Pavoni) is a songwriter, electronic music composer and producer currently based in Nashville. He began writing and recording music as N Pa Productions when he was only 17 years old, and in 2007 he self-released his first albums Reality | a dream and Reality | a dream: The B-Side (neither of which are now available). Over the next couple of years, he collaborated with numerous vocalists and producers from different genres of music for the recording of his debut album Sight & Sound, as well as producing tracks for several artists. He was later signed to a couple of different London-based independent labels from 2010 to 2014, but in the years since has worked as a solo independent artist. In September 2013, he independently released his second studio album The Ghost Within: The Tale of Turmoil, an ambitious concept work involving at least 20 other songwriters and built around the main character and protagonist Turmoil (which I reviewed in 2021) as well as a separate EP Unorthodox. 

In late 2020, Nicholas began work on an autobiographical concept album to be titled Euphoric Absence, but due to some personal life struggles as well as recording and technical issues, its release has been pushed back to 2025. He released the first single from the album, “Nothing In Your Eyes” in December 2021, followed by the instrumental second single “Ambience of Sound and Motion” in August 2023. Now he returns with “Waking Life“, the third and final single he plans to release in advance of the album.

The song’s title and theme were inspired by the 2001 film Waking Life by Richard Linklater, along with the soundtrack itself (notably, “Ballad Part 3 and Ballad 4 – Parts 1 & 2”), as well as Nicholas’ own personal struggles. The track features lead and harmony vocals by Italian singer-songwriter Dee Wolf and Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter and percussionist Bobby Jasso, electric guitar by Nicholas’ cousin Gabrielle Marella, and drum programming by Pennsylvania-based musician John Browne. Also featured are some carefully selected archival audio recordings of Nicholas and Gabrielle’s late grandfather Anthony “Tony” Milillo, Jr. from the late 1990s, with the audio being spliced up to form new phrases and cohesion within the narrative of the song.

This is the third collaboration between Nicholas and Bobby Jasso, with the pair having previously worked together on “Life, At The Speed Love” (2009) from Nicholas’ debut album Sight & Sound, and Bobby providing additional vocals, and sampled vocals for “Sea of Darkness” (2013) from Nicholas’ second studio album The Ghost Within: The Tale of Turmoil.

Nicholas has fond memories of his grandfather, and wanted to pay homage to him in the song. He elaborates: “My grandfather and I have shared a similar path, sadly, with both of us ending up homeless during our lifetimes and ended up turning it out for ourselves. He went from being a compulsive gambler to president of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of Pennsylvania. It’s a feat in and of itself; if I could only live up even to a tenth of the degree he has. He helped thousands of people, taking personal phone calls, doing seminars, you name it.” 

“Waking Life” was composed, written and produced by Nicholas, with additional lyrics by Bobby Jasso. The track was mixed and mastered by TomeKeeper Productions. Samples used in the track include archival audio of Tony Milillo were provided by The Legislative Report with Paul Clymer (1998), and selected lyrics from the 2008 Baumer song “Were It Not For You”, written by Nate Boykin (Baumer was an American indie rock band from South Carolina that was active from 2003-08). The cover art for the single, designed by Haiqa Ghazi, features a vintage childhood photo of Nicholas and Gabrielle:

About the song’s production and recording, Nicholas gives the following tribute: “I’m so proud and filled with anxiety about this official release. It’s taken me personally so long to get to this point and I just want to say thank you to Gabrielle Marella, my cousin for being here with me throughout all of this. Bobby Jasso for being the best collaborator and friend I could possibly ask for. Diletta (D Wolf) for being an incredible, kind, and awesome individual. You’ve elevated this in a way I could only dream. To Ian and Mark of TomeKeeper Productions, this would not be possible without you. I can’t thank you enough for seeing my vision and working it through to the end. I’m blown away by what you’ve done! Thank you!!!“

Well, I can firmly state that Nicholas and company have achieved their goal, and then some. Together, they’ve created a gorgeous and emotionally impactful song about the pain and disappointments that life can throw our way, as well as a plea for hope that things will get better. The song opens with a beautifully-strummed electric guitar riff by Gabrielle, which are soon joined by Bobby Jasso’s captivating plaintive vocals singing “What is this? This waking life.”

As Nicholas’ pulsating bassline and Baumer’s swirling synths enter the proceedings, we hear the spoken words of his late grandfather, adding a compelling solemnity to the track: “Struggle through the day. Is that our purpose? The denial that they sell you a fantasy. They sell you a dream, that dream sounds so appealing.” Bobby and Dee Wolf begin singing the first verse in perfect harmony, while the music builds with the addition of Gabrielle’s edgier guitar work, accompanied by assertive drums. Everything erupts into a thunderous anthemic crescendo in the chorus, with Bobby and Dee’s vocals rising to impassioned wails to match the explosive instrumentation, all of which creates a glorious and electrifying wall of sound that leaves me breathless.

Verse 1:
Lost in all this anger
Silence in this space
Reaching deep down
I’ve seen no hope throughout the day
Is that our purpose
Does time just pass us by
Does time just pass us by
(So tell me)

Chorus:
What is this waking life
And how are we to overcome (Can we find the answer)
Is there some notion
Within all this commotion

Verse 2:
What is this waking life?
What is this?
What is this waking life?

Things were better then
Things are always better when
Baby, you can say, “Those were the days”

A promotional video titled Waking Life: the Visual Experience, is planned for later release, possibly in August. A collaboration with the Psyn Agency and Haiqa Ghazi rotoscoping, the Visual Experience will feature animations of the archival video of Tony Millio, along with home video recordings, filmed by Nicholas, of his younger cousins J & B, as well as his cousin Gabrielle playing the guitar. The promotional video is a homage to Waking Life and Undone, a 2019 TV series.

Nicholas’ Socials:  X / Instagram

Find his music on Bandcamp / Spotify / Apple Music / Soundcloud / YouTube